Broken Words and Weeks

My words are spent. I am speechless and empty. At least that’s how I often feel. I’m realizing that in this season of life, I often have no words. I don’t mean words in the everyday kind of sense. I don’t have a hard time saying, “Please clean up your room,” or “How was your day?” I don’t have a hard time jabbering without really saying anything. I apologize if I’ve done that to you. I can’t think. I can’t write. I methodically put one foot in front of the other day by day. I have plenty of ideas, but
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Eating Well: A State of the Mind

You know, food is one of the most interesting things we interact with daily and yet so infrequently recognize for its multi-faceted features. It’s a necessity. It’s beautiful, colorful, natural, or unnatural. It’s comforting. It’s filling. It’s exactly what we want. It’s exactly what we need. It’s a “solution” to all kinds of emotions – boredom, fear, grief, nervousness, excitement, anger, celebration. It’s misused. It’s delicious. It’s greasy, dry, brittle, flexible, chewy. It’s served frozen or bubbling hot. It’s created for the purpose of sustaining you. It’s been manipulated into worship of the body. It’s spicy, sweet, bitter, tangy, pungent.
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Cabbage Leaves and Closed Doors

I’m going out on a limb here and sharing a poem I recently wrote. Until this poem, I hadn’t written anything in years. Writing poetry used to be ingrained in me, almost a habit I couldn’t break. And then I did. Somewhere along the way, I stopped writing, and I hate that it happened. It’s a practice, like anything else, but something I want to do. I need to do. To write. Slowly, surely, it will come back again. For now, this is what I have to offer. Cabbage Leaves and Closed Doors, for Martin, my sugar lump his back,
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Sugar-Free Stomach

Quick Note: This might get TMI for some of you. So read on if you’re interested in a dissection of my boy’s gut from birth to present. For as long as I can remember, literally since he was born, E has struggled with lactose. They call it lactose intolerance, though he’s never been properly diagnosed. His father is lactose intolerant, so when problems quickly arose after E’s birth, I assumed it was from the copious amounts of milk I was drinking. I would drink a glass or two a day. I probably drank skim milk back then, and not the
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A Decade of Grace

I don’t really have words to express how I feel today, a decade after my first son, Ethan, was born. I could give a detailed birth story or I could explain how much my life was changed by his presence and how quickly I grew up, but to an extent every mom’s life changes at the birth of her first child, and she quickly realizes how immature she was before the babe arrived. Instead, I just want to express my thanks on this day when I tend to be nostalgic, weepy, and so unsure how to feel. I am thankful
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The Revolving Door

Being in-transit gives everyone the grumpy face. That’s all there is to it. When I lived in Florence, SC, my hometown and a small town of about 45,000 people, we Florentinians used to talk about how Florence was a revolving door type of town, especially for people aged 18-30. People came, stayed a season, and then left again. As a long-time member of the Florence community, the revolving door made things difficult. I always took forever to get to know someone, as I am often tongue-tied and awkward with new people. By the time I would start to really love
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We Quit Sugar – Week 8

This is supposed to be the celebratory “we’ve accomplished our goal” post. We are celebrating, and we are excited it is been eight weeks without sugar, but this isn’t a celebratory post like an end of the school-year party. I’m not writing this to say we did it, we’re done, and welcome back sugar. I’m writing this to say we’ve started a journey and made it eight weeks thus far. We will have many, many more weeks without sugar. I’m really proud of Ethan and Tyler. They’ve both been troupers through this whole ordeal, especially Ethan. I would have never
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We Quit Sugar – Week 7

One more week until we’ve successfully completed our 8-week sugar detox! Time has moved so quickly. It seems as though we just started this experiment, and yet it’s almost as though it’s been part of our lives for a long time. Isn’t that how life works? Quick stat report: I’m down a few more pounds to below what I was when I got pregnant with Martin. I still have some to lose in order to be able to fit into all of my clothes, but I’m getting there. Exercise is super important, and I have more energy and am happier
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But I Don’t Want Cake

I’m really starting to consider what it means for my life if we quit sugar forever. Obviously we’ll come in contact with some every now and then when we’re out because it’s almost impossible not to. Tyler and I are really thinking we won’t have any around the house though, and I’ll keep cooking and exploring life without it. My biggest question and reservation right now is, “What if I don’t want cake on my birthday?” I know it sounds silly, but it’s a legitimate concern. For my whole entire life, all 28.5 years, I’ve had some type of cake
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We Quit Sugar – Week 6

Two weeks to go! During Week 6 I noticed I feel full more quickly. It doesn’t take as much food to make me feel satisfied. The past week has been pretty crazy. We ended up going out to eat two times, and both times my stomach hurt afterwards. I think hidden sugar was the culprit. The first time we went out, I got a Mexican omelette, and the salsa on top probably had some sugar in it. The second time, I got a salad and some soup, and neither had sugar, but the calamari/bread appetizer we had may have had
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